While comparing our twins, it’s very easy for us to summarize that Luca’s autism is externally evident, where Jack’s is internally evident.
Where external behaviors would be viewed as disruptive or unwarranted, Luca will be worked with to redirect those behaviors, relying on supportive strategies the way someone with a hearing impairment needs a hearing aid, or a sprained ankle needs a brace.
But for Jack, and those on the spectrum that experience things internally, the work to redirect those behaviors and identify supportive strategies is just as important.
Because as autism displays differently in both of our boys, they are the same in the struggle.
As different as they love and receive love, they are the same in that they wish to be loved.
And as each boy is uniquely different, yet as our children, they are one in the same.
Different, not less.
Remember that being kind will never be wasted upon someone.
Being wiser will always require a willingness to learn and ignore biases.
Being better to others means that when you compare two of anything, you’re looking at what makes them different, not what makes them less than.