That title might feel funny read, but I feel like this has been a key survival strategy to making our weekends entertaining, enjoyable, and agreeable to all five members of our family.
My mornings typically start around 4/4:30am with Jack, and then eventually Alex around 5/5:30am. Luca will stroll down the stairs at one point before 6, at which I’ve most likely already had at least one cappuccino. Steph will join the motley crew by 7, and then a full long day is before us.
Although I was always a morning person, the many #sleeplessnightsofautism have definitely made caffeine, and strong caffeine at that, a necessity for functionalities. I’m a planner, so by the time my wife joins our breakfast table adventures, reading books over whatever concoction the three kids decided worked for sustenance, or on the playroom floor playing among too many toys spread across the colorful tiles, I typically have an idea in my head for how I think we could most effectively spend the day. AKA, how we could distract all three kids with something exciting and entertaining, while ensuring the baby takes her two naps, there are decent meals at lunch and dinner, and she and I can agree on a pace that makes us still like each other by the time we get them back to bed. Any one else chase down the daylight hours like this?
As my wife owns her own business, there are usually “work hours” we need to make happen each day, so as long as we can ensure those are taken care of during Alli’s first nap that morning, it leaves a prime six or seven hours to take “an adventure with autism”. The latter disclaimer is because not every adventure is made for our family. We have to ensure the ride won’t be too long, that there won’t be long lines to wait in when at said adventure, that we aren’t near busy streets or in an area where Luca could run away, and that wherever we go won’t overwhelm either of the twins in any sensory fashion (particularly loud and bright activities can create havoc for our boys.)
Some “adventures with autism” require a third party rental adult, whether it be Auntie Sammy, or Granny & Pop Pop, or a favorite baby sitter… those are the ones where we face elements that Luca’s fight/flight mentality could put him in harm’s way, or that the offerings at the adventure hit different preferences for the twins.
This weekend, at around 6am, Steph was up early, and while the kids were enjoying their iPads, we dared throw the news on for a hot second. Across the TV came a plug on WMUR (our local news station) for a new aquarium in northern NH, called Living Shores. It showed hands-on experiences for kids, as well as an Aviary, which is Luca’s favorite thing. (If you follow us on instagram, I’m sure you’ve seen his many bird figurines.) We quickly googled it, and made a game plan to head up just as it was time for Alli to nap, thinking she could do so in the car. We even reached out to friends to come with us.
This is where lack of coffee and planning did not serve us well. Yes, we noted the 2.5 hour drive, but figured if kids napped, they’d be in SUPER good moods when they got there, and if it was over-stimulating, they’d have the ride home to relax. Clearly our friends that we convinced to join us thought the same thing, because they quickly packed their crew up of triplets, and headed north on our coat tails.
We purchased tickets ahead of time, and our first red flag flew when the time-slots available to purchase were only in hour increments. We had gotten the impression this would be an all-day affair, and as it was located within StoryLand, an outdoor theme park, figured it would have a similar amount of entertainment for the kids. But to drive 2.5 hours up, to spend ONE hour at a facility, and over $100 on the day, didn’t necessarily feel like we had our smartest adventurer hats on.
As we realized our start time was at noon, and would be in town by 11:15, we stopped at a local McDonald’s so the kids could have lunch and stretch their legs in the play place. Luca ran right to the maze, despite the kids that were playing in it already were some what loud. I could feel my chest rise in anxiety worried the noise would set him off, and watching the maze rise upwards of 15 feet, with very small enclosures to climb through, I wasn’t quite sure I’d be able to get to Luca in time if he became impatient trying to navigate past another child, or worst, if the noise echoing through the slides hurt his ears and he decided to go after said noisemaker. My wife gave me a look like, “please don’t make this more than it needs to be”, so I found a table with Jack and Alex so she could go get their lunch.
Jack was extremely hesitant to play, and despite taking his shoes off and entering the maze, he made it about two minutes before he preferred to sit at the table with Alex and I and wait for his lunch. Luca played for a solid 30 minutes, continuing to run the maze/gauntlet with comforting repetition. It was so good for him to move his body. He is always happier when he can take on physical activity. Jack contently ate his lunch with Alex, and we ended up taking Luca’s in the car for him to eat on the remaining 10 minute drive to the Aquarium.
When we made it to Living Shores, the facility itself seemed small. I quickly realized we underestimated just what the day could entail, but thought it would be best to make the best of what we could, so we tried to amp the kids up and bring them all inside.
From the moment inside, Jack got very scared, and when Jack gets scared, he tends to get dramatically so. His voice will elevate, panic sets in both his tone and on his face, and he starts to search for ways to leave- whether by throwing a tantrum, or finding an exit himself. We did everything we could to keep them calm as we waited in the line to enter the facility.
We kindly asked the lovely gentleman taking photos before you entered to allow us to skip the line, as Jack was obviously not having it. Once inside, Luca lit up, walking directly to the walls of fish tanks on display. He could have watched them swim for hours, completely intrigued in their movements and grace. Alli stood beside him, glee and delight spilling out joyfully in her expressions, but my buddy Jack huddled behind my legs, holding on for dear life.
Steph moved ahead with Luca and Alex to give Jack and I space, and I did my very best to breath through my own panic that we had made a grave mistake bringing our children so far without doing enough research into what it would really entail. Jack and I talked through how he was feeling, and I assured him I would not leave him, and we would take it at his pace. I also reminded him friends were coming soon, and if he wanted to wait near the entrance for them, we could do that. That seemed to relax him enough so that he could start to enjoy the tanks of fish.
It didn’t take long before Luca could hear the birds, as they weren’t more than ten feet from the tanks. Steph moved ahead and brought Luca and Alex to explore the aviary. I could hear his giggles when he entered the cage from where I stood with Jack down the hall. My heart sunk for a moment as I realized that here was an experience that could bring one brother such joy, and the other such pain. I stayed focused on Jack, who was hiding in the stroller, and kept watch for our friends.
Eventually, our entire party was present, and we worked our way through the small facility of hands-on learning with the kids. Steph switched with me, bringing Alex with her, so that I could enjoy Luca’s delight and new obsession with one particular bird, who was very friendly. Luca could not get enough.
It was such a different experience to watch his fear meet his excitement, turning into fearlessness and he worked to convince the bird to come to him. He watched the trainer as he reached out his arms and allowed the bird to climb over him. Luca would mimmic his movements, continuing to move closer and attempt to touch the bird. He was experiencing such joy.
There were also tanks where you could touch the sharks, or let fish nibble at your hands. And the kids loved the sandbox with the animated sea creatures that appeared from an overhead projection.
For families considering visiting Living Shores in Glen, NH, it’s located in the Story Land parking lot, and I would say that it’s well maintained, entertaining, wonderfully staffed, and great for what it is. If you have to drive a distance, I would suggest pairing it with another activity for littles, unless you are focused on littles who could spend hours in an aviary staring at one bird, like Luca could have if we let him.
It was yet another learning experience on one of our “weekend adventures with autism”, but different, and worth the pure joy we watched Luca experience.
