It’s been a while since I’ve found time to sit and share about our journey.
Our days have been full of swinging until we feel like we are flying… jumping until we “hulk smash”… and exploring every play ground Southern New Hampshire has to offer.
However, there are two lessons that autism has taught me over the last few weeks, that I keep trying to find the time to share.
These two lessons, come from Captain Jack, as he loves to be called these days.
The first, is one I was prepared for: how autism takes everything literally.
As Jack’s speech has become such an enjoyable conversation lately, I find that he and I have the most interesting talks. Now, mind you, we are working on quiet voices, like it’s our job, but in general, he’s just so much fun.
When the boys were first diagnosed, I read every book I could get my hands on, and in each one they explained that many on the spectrum had a hard time understanding euphemisms. This is true for Jack.
One morning, while we were racing to get everyone out the door, and Luca was loving hiding under his sensory sheet in bed, I yelled up the stairs, “Luca, you’re going to miss the bus!”
I meant that my vehicle with all three children needed to leave in 10 minutes.
Jack ran to me super excited and said: “We get to take the bus today!”
Yea. Didn’t see that one coming.
I had to take the 10 minutes we had left explaining what I meant, to a very sad boy who had been wanting the bus to come all summer. When we finally got every one strapped in the car, his teary-eyed face said to me weepy, “Mommy, next time just tell Luca ‘we’re going to be late’, so it doesn’t make me so sad.”
The other fun one that makes me laugh is that while Jack was asking for something (for what felt like the 1,000th time) in the kitchen, I said, “Jack, please give me a minute before I walk off a cliff!”
(Dramatic, I know, but our boy is so incessant, I promise, it was warranted.)
He looked at me, dumbfounded, and said, “are we going on a hike with Auntie today?”.
Completely missing the boat (there I go again!), I said “no Jack, we are not going on a hike with Auntie today.” To which he responded, “then why are you going to the cliff?”
Yep. That’s our kid.
Now, match this with his new favorite question happens to be, “Why not”, and you’d understand our new perspective on life in the Young household.
Typically, at this age, a child will respond “Why” to everything, as curiosity is the driving force behind the age of 5. Jack, however, asks “Why not?” instead. At first, this drove me crazy, as I consistently felt the need to correct him.
But then, I asked myself, maybe he has it right.
Maybe the better perspective truly is- “Why not?” instead of simply, “Why?”
As you go about your day today, I hope you catch all the euphemisms we use, and the moments in which we negatively think, “but why”, and replace them with saying what you mean, and the possibility of “why not”. I’ve found that this shift in approach in our days has give me a new look on life: one that is continuously grateful for all that autism is teaching us.